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Nancy Smoyer  American Red Cross

Donut Dollie  1967-68

8.  The Wall that Moves

(Talk given at the Moving Wall when it came to Fairbanks.)

        Amazing and wonderful things are going to happen at this Wall.  People will come and talk about what they did during the war..... what they remember about their lives or their families' lives at the time.  They'll tell their family or friends about their high school friend who didn't make it back, how he was a special kid for whom everyone had great hopes, or maybe he was the kid who was always in trouble but everyone liked.

        Those who weren't born yet-those for whom the Vietnam war is only history--will look with wonder as they see people interacting with each other---and with the names on the Wall.  Children will come with their fathers and see them cry for the first time in their lives.  Wives will see their husbands tighten up, go silent--or maybe start talking for the first time in years about their war.  Those same wives will think about all they've experienced as they've shared the war with their husbands, often in silence.

Veterans will come at night, only at night, alone, for hours.  Some will come and be unable to get any closer than the parking lot.  Some will come with their families and wish they'd come alone.  Others will come without families and wish they'd brought them.  Some veterans will read about the Wall in the newspaper and struggle for 5 days-unable to come and unable to stay away.  Some will read everything left at the Wall, others nothing.  Female veterans will come, and no one will ever suspect that they served-that they too are Vietnam veterans.

        This Moving Wall is a replica of the Wall in Washington, DC.  For both veterans and civilians, it is also a representation of a wall that was built during the time of the war and during its long aftermath here at home.  For some of us, that wall went up in one searing moment-fully fortified and impenetrable.  For others it was built one brick at a time, slowly getting higher and wider and stronger, until it too is almost impenetrable.

        Let's use this Wall to chip away at and take a few bricks off our old walls.

        Veterans, take this opportunity to tell that person you've been working beside for 5 or 6 years that you're a Vietnam veteran.  Give your family the opening to talk to you about what you did over there--how it felt then--and how it feels now.

Wives and children of these men and women, try to ask again and to listen again.  When they show you a name, listen to the story.  Listen hard.  For you veteran families too-talk to someone about what it's been like for you as the wife or child of a Vietnam veteran.  You'll find that you have more than you can imagine in common with other veteran families.

        For those of you veterans for whom Vietnam was one year in your lives-a closed chapter that happened many years ago when you were a kid--reach out to your fellow veterans whose journey has been more difficult.  Use this opportunity to look at your experience-what you gained and what you lost-and how that knowledge can assist other veterans and the community.

        For those of you who lost family and friends, tell one or two people who didn't know about your loss and share your memories of your loved one.  Families of men and women who came back, tell someone about how he or she changed--if they changed--and how you've dealt with it. And those of you who are here because you remember what it was like to be alive during the time of the war, or because you were too young to know but you've heard about it, tell a Vietnam veteran...thank you.

        All of you--all of us--listen.  Allow yourself to be open, to be non-judgmental, to hear the other person's story.  Give your family, your friends, your acquaintances this opportunity to tell you something they may have been wanting to tell you for years.  Use this Wall, this healing Wall, to take down, piece by piece, your 30-year Wall.

        In a few minutes we're going to begin reading the names, every name.  Each one will be read with reverence and respect.  Each one is special--an individual.  As I've talked with veterans over the years, I've seen the struggle, heard the anguish and the guilt as they fought to remember a name--but they just could not.  Probably they never knew the name-we used nicknames, after all.  Red, Shorty, Ski, Soup.  The names are infinitely important-but the memories and the feelings you have about your buddies and your hometown friends are much more important.  The names are there so people never forget those who died.  You remember your friend--you've carried him in your mind and your heart for all these many years--but you just can't remember the name.  It's okay if you can't remember-it's really okay.

        And finally, many of us missed out on hearing something when we came back from the war.  It's only two words, but there's a world of meaning for us behind them.  So for those you who didn't get to hear it or who didn't hear it enough, I would like to say to you, welcome home.